Hello. Just crapping here. Mood lvl : sucks to the max.
I never have mood problems when it comes to period. No. Never.
Ever since my stomach doesn't feel pain after I cut down cold drinks, I start to have bad mood.
Very bad ones. I start thinking stuff negatively, get mad easily, sometimes I feel like hitting people.
Got sensitive in every issues and lock myself till my period is over wtf.

Opps.. somebody came. Have to go.
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I'm back. Ah,,, I feel so much better after a talk with the oppa.

It's always feel nice whenever I talk with him about how I feel because he will always listen to me patiently and give me advise in handling matters. Never knew that I'll be able to speak to people about my feelings now. Mission accomplished wtf.

How about trying to talk to someone you trust about your bad feelings and problems? Is always hard to talk when you do not have someone to talk to. But getting your problems out of your head is the best way to release your stress. I believe there's someone in your mind that you wanna talk to.

Shall we raise our courage up to talk? We'll work together wtf.


Anyway I have to knock off soon. Cao peeps. Will update on my daily routine soon.

Just trying to talk with my laptop. I wish it will come to life and start talking to me not to always close it's head down before everything are shut down haha.

There were a lot of times where I misses things a lot. Things that I like or love, things that I wanna do so badly in my life, words that I wanna talk to, but then I was too coward to chase it. Keep on telling myself that one day I would pursue it when I'm able to.

But then I realize I'm not even 1 step forward to what I'm suppose to do. Whenever I want to try something, many thoughts flow through my mind like money, time, consequences, or support from people who I cared. I remember I used to join lots of clubs like Latin dance, wushu, orchestra club, and etc but every club ends in a same way because I quit in the half way. Is not half road to fail(ban tu er fei) k?And every reason just have to be the same. Money and debts. I have no money to pay(due to my dad always make zero promises) and I owe almost few months of fees from almost every clubs. I feel so guilty whenever I think of it. I think I'm still owning them till 2014 =.=  From that, I got misunderstand by people that thought I want to become a ba wong chan (means eat without pay), aiya is almost the same as you go to a class asking a teacher to teach you then after class you sayonara without paying as if they don't get paid. Or thought I like to act poor and ask for charity which is humiliating la. I even have to save my allowance just to buy a music instrument. Anyway I got cheated la the teacher were sucks because they took my er hu cao after they got fired from headmistress. I was just err err----too stupid.  

Is just terrible for other members to know that I'm penniless that's why I had nasi lemak(not even tambah a fried egg k?) everyday and save every allowance that I have while looking at other students having a nice lunch with dessert and drinks and all I had was a plain rice with sambal. I wonder why I never realize I had the same food everyday without getting bored unless I took other's food. (I know I was thick skin enough)

I wasn't complaining that I'm an unfortunate child because I know I have more than enough compare to others who don't even have a nice uniform to wear to school. It just became a trauma for me to not dare to do what I want to if I have no assurance that I can go for a long term commitment.

So I thought maybe is time to get my ass up and go for it without worrying too much. I mean just let it flow and it will eventually work out. I guess. I got myself stressed out too much due to a broke up and job matter causes me to think too negatively about everything and thought everything was not right at all. After few months of chanting, I came to realize that if I don't always mentally stay positive and think of lots of good things, the positive flow won't come to you because you are not attracting them.


I'm back to the me again. Trying to work it out. How about you? Did you manage to find your way out too?

I'm joking. Don't read if you are eating. I cannot afford to pay for your #loseappetite disease. Sori.

And to think I have a day like this.....




And it became like this. I need to call for a firefighter and a plumber to clear my "shit problem".



It happens in the middle of the night when I went for a "big business" and it just happen to slip down and drop into the toilet bowl. =.= And I even have to pick it up with my own hand. So you know what to do huh when you see me huh huh??

WE HAVE TO SHAKE HAND LIKE EH LADY. 

There were times that decisions are hard to made. Roads that you facing. Things that you don't wanna let go. Ends up you don't even know what you want.

That is me now. Trying to figure out what to do next. I was dilemma-ing on what to do with my career and future that I wanna walk. I once thought that someone will be everything. My target of life and purpose of a part of my life. And it just gone. Gone in a blink of eye. Never and unable to return to what it was. I guess I was lonely and always believe that I have to grab it when there are things that you cannot buy with money. I'm turning into a negative thinker now after the break ups. No reply, no call, no reading texts. Just nothing. And we have to learn to forget it and let it go by time.But were we able to forget everything by not thinking of it? Frankly speaking I actually hasn't putting everything down yet. The relationship has become a burden and a thorn that stuck in my heart and I wasn't able to pluck it out yet. Is really bothering me now and it makes my decision making become tougher and tougher.

Omg everyday sleep in the morning and wake up in the afternoon really makes me a zombie now. I was too stress in everything and I just realize that I'm afraid to sleep. I need a escape soon man or I'll get crazy aleluya.

Hello peeps! Is been a long time since I touch this blog. I think my last post was on 2012? Man that was long and I'm so sorry for the lack of update. I have been busy all these while but I'm back for now! Will try to update from now on. :)

So? Where should I start? Malaysia? Singapore? Work? Relationship? Life? Korea? Vacation?

Yes all those are conclude in my 1 whole year life. So much to update huh?

1st of all, after I got my last post uploaded, which was on the August I went to Singapore for work. I send my resume to lot of hotels and yes I got employed by Hilton Singapore. So off I went for lots of preparation like passport, working permit, room, and of cos Cash in hand.

Yes it was tough at 1st, my job, environment and also money. I had to suffer for 1 month due to my paid was so less that I barely even to have nice food everyday. (My money was gone after I paid for the rent)
Normally if I have morning shift, I will skip breakfast and have lunch and dinner at my working place. (They provide meal) If I have afternoon shift, of cos I will wake up on the afternoon and have instant noodle for lunch and dinner in hotel.

I don't wanna went too specific or else is gonna be a long long post hahahha wtf. Will try to write into different posts after I settle with the photos. *finger crossed*

Anyway I quit my job and now I'm currently at Seoul, Korea. And NO, I can't speak korean nor understand except "I love you" hahahahha. I've already stay here for almost a month and still searching for job so that I can stay longer because my bf is here and I don't wanna separate with him again :'(

That's all for today and I will update it soon!

希望我能再过我这一关，超越自己。

Hello People! Happy Valentine Day! Wish all the couples have a great day and surprises!

Done with the wishes and now is MOI turn. For me, Valentine is Tuesday. Tuesday is Valentine. No different for me since Im SINGLE. Sad case right? No guy to turn to, no roses, no chocolates, no presents, no sweet talks,  NOTHING AT ALL.

SO??



BUT I received a picture from whatsapp and is a cup of coffee with a heart shape on it! It's from my friend who went to US for further studies.



THEN, nothing much happen except I had a "date" with my lecturer for my front office practical assessment.

Currently tired of my life now. Cause I don't get enough sleep and I have loads of assignments to do and my eyes started to getting more pain due to the light from the stupid computer. And most of all, a stupid pimples pop out from my face!! OMG, to think that my face is getting better but end up a disaster. The pimple is now red and swollen, have to wait for 1 week to recover back. T-T!

Btw, that's all folks. Just walk by and write an emo post. Gotta rush my assignments now!

See the title and you know what Im gonna talk about right? OK. An Education Trip, equal Ma Fan. *means troublesome* Because I have to do a report with 1000 WORDS and pictures attact in it! OMG! And I haven even start my Beverage Studies assignment. =.=

So end up I have to go to the trip but is fun, so I guess it's not a bad day after all. OKAY. No mood to blog today, just wanna update so that it won't hibernate for too long. Actually I have few post but due to my line "sick", Im unable to upload pics nor blog.